WHATIF

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang there same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif I can love?
Whatif the man behind the building actually grabbed my arm?
Whatif the tumors never go away?
Whatif I sold my house?
Whatif I found the words to pray again?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif silence and being with intention is better then words?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif we never get paid the same?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif I never run again?
Whatif I came there for a month?
Whatif I really am a dick?
Whatif I am not?
Whatif I drink to much?
Whatif I am really not that weird?
Whatif the shadows behind my heart step into the light?
Whatif I melt when the sun hits me?
Whatif I have a knack for making the wrong decisions?
Whatif if Grace the name after the one you call me isn't just because my parents liked it?
Whatif who I am is good enough, possible and worthy?
Whatif the evening started earlier so we could drink and loosen up a bit more?
Whatif it didn't take alterations an it just fit?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nightmare Whatifs strike again!

Me and Shel.

I really like your truths.
The fragmented sentences make a lot of sense to me.
As for your prayers, I appreciated your deep care
As for the freedom in your love, I recognize the transformation
that is required for humans to get there. It is not "just an idea,
not hearsay, nor some secondhand information, nor is it textbook,"
but a "life position, perspective and finally one's very identity."
You are a blessing in my life, and I look forward to the journey
x.