I practice yoga, eat healthy, run many miles each week
I exercise my body in health and in wellness,
I am disciplined in spirit in pursuit of 'the along'
the process

I strive, I pray, I meditate, I even go to church sometimes,
I read those seen as holy bodies, and beings
in attempt that I might be ripe for transformation when it comes my way
I work hard, in vulnerability and failure to live a compassionate life,
I love well, so I am told,
I love resiliently,
I love again and again

I open my house and my heart to strangers, acquaintances
and like a fool to my enemies
I give so much some years that I come out like a bruise reed
and a smoldering wick
though I am renewed each spring
by elements beyond my understanding

I smoke cigarettes, drink often-enough,
I get high sometimes,
I swear, I sleep, make love, fuck and have sex
with men, women, and those in between and outside,
they are who I love, who see my goodness,
who see my unhealed hurt and grief
with pride of knowing me

Here is to living a life of contradiction,
here is to holding the tension of conflict
here is to holding the complexities of
the human pursuit of ones own truth
To the holding of us being and not being
all that we are and ever will be,
all that we are not and never will be

For God knows the holy have done more evil
than evil could ever hope to do through those
deemed, determined and convicted as
guilty, bad, dark, sinful, evil

So when you pray for me and see those prayers
'working' know that you are likely 'right'
though the product will likely look anything but what you expected
or deem as success

So if you want to love me
love me out of your mind,
in ways that don't make sense,
for 'We know not how to pray'

Dog Medicine- how to process your mother

Good God
how do you process
your Mother
whole
b   it  s
pieces
swallow
excrete
enzymes
dig, est
the best
way you
can,nine

I penciled you in for Thursday and Friday morning
where to begin

Richard Rohr told me recently that all spiritual paths
are figures pointing to the moon,
rituals and practices.

Dear Medicine Card give me an angle
for Mama is callin'

the Dog card...
You are so noble,
Until the biter end,
Your medicine is the teaching,
Of true and loyal friends

• Half-wild, wilderness enver divested the owners of their Dogs' innate loyalty
• Servant of humanity
• Guard against surprise attacks
• Loving gentleness of best friend and halfwild protector energy
• Guardian of hell, ancient secrets, hidden treasures, and babies
• Service-oriented
• Love still, in the people who were the source of the bad treatment 
• Deep and compassionate understanding of human short coming 
• Look at how readily your sense of loyalty is countermanded by your need for approval
• Have I recently forgotten that I owe my allegiance to my personal truth in life?
• Have I been loyal and true to my goals?

(a diddy I wrote, that evolved as it came)

I've listened to the stars
of many years collected
like precious stones
picked up along trails
of blood, sweat,
trails of tears gone running
gasping, tripping over emotions
too big to scream in one
setting, so I ran
collecting and kicking compact dust particles
wasping in my lungs, exhaust pipes.
There was a time I breathed

only pine needles, and pollen
coated so thick the glass windows
of my heart --left residue
that not even newspaper could remove
But now I breath your exhaustion
the smog covering the clear blue skies
of your eyes
You look like shit
so I suggest for this year you claim to be
one of change--
if you desire to remove the body bags
from beneath your eyes you might think
to sleep, perhaps you will come to the great revelation
that you are no Messiah and you were only Called here
to love, 
not save
this godforsaken world